Child Support / Insurance ???

[Leah]

I'm asking for a friend (ex boyfriend) 

Okay Tom has been divorced for 18 years.

 His ex was on drugs and gave him all 3 kids.  He never got support and for years she seldom saw the kids (3 kids).  I saw this for myself  when she never called or showed up for visitation, missed their birthdays and Christmas over and over.  I watched her 7 yr old son watch for her out the window for days on his birthday while his dad made up excuses why she wasn't there AFTER she called and told him she had gotten him a cool present. 

The oldest 2 lived with Tom until they graduated and got their own jobs and homes.  He paid for their cheerleading, football, doctor, dentist, othodontist payments everything on his own.

His youngest girl really didn't know who her mom was as mom gave her to Tom as soon as she was born and took off.  (I also believe as does Tom he's not the biological father but he doesn't want to know and won't take the test to find out for sure.)

Egg donor has 2 older kids who were also raised by their fathers...and has a younger child who lives with his father...

Tom's youngest girl  started slacking off and screwing up and skipping school.  Tom tried to lay down the law...Youngest daughter decided to go live with the Egg donor who had been visiting off and on for a couple of years.  Egg Donor and Tom made a deal, He wouldn't pay support and She would claim daughter on her taxes.  (She made more money that way-because she cleans houses and only claims enough income to get the maximum Earned Income Credit) 
more on next post this is jumping up and down ass I  type.

[Leah]

Anyway Tom's youngest is 18 now and is just starting 11 grade in a really wonky homeschool program here that is basically for kids who won't go to school or kids on probation who must show they are in school.

She blows of the school --which is one day a week and they only show up to take tests from easy easy workbooks.

Tom lost his insurance as he works for a very small company.

Egg donor wants to sue him for insurance because she went and got herself on foodstamps so she could get her 18 year old insured.

Tom never went after her for the 12 years of back child support for 1 kid and 14 years of  back child support for 2nd kid or the 17 years of child support for 3rd kid....Tennessee,  law states:

The obligation to pay child support ends when the child reaches age 18 or graduates from high school with his or her regularly scheduled class, whichever comes second. However, child support could end earlier if the child becomes emancipated (gets married or quits school and gets a job)

So all this was to ask...Does he need a lawyer or should he just show up for the hearing?  The divorce papers give him legal custody of all 3 kids and they were never modified.  He has the legal right to claim the child on his taxes too.    The  kid went to live with Egg donor and egg donor and Tom made a VERBAL agreement about the insurance and taxes.   I told him he should  claim his daughter on his taxes and use the money to get the girl's insurance although I think he is off the hook for all of it legally.

Whew?  What do y'all think?.

[absmom18]

Is ED going after him for medical or is the state? ie. being on medical through the state.  Sueing him for medical insurance?  Honestly, the child is 18, some medical insurances end at 18, especially if education is in question.  And if she does drag him to court, heh, he could probably drag it out through continuances and other bs until the child inevidably drops out and it becomes a moot point.  Also is the law 18 and graduated but not past 19? or is it just as long as the child is in school? (does not go past 19 here even if the kid is in school).

Hum, and if he has legal custody, how does she get foodstamps etc for the child?  I guess that would be easy to get around... And how could the state (if that is who is doing it) go after him for reimbursement or what ever with medical, if he has custody?  I wouldn't think they could create a new order unless what is being done is a modification of their divorce decree.

[Leah]

Okay I asked him about it and he said the ex told food stamps that the child is living with her and the father doesn't pay support or insurance so the state sent him a notice of a hearing about insurance.  He is supposed to go Monday but doesn't have any of his paperwork so he's going to have to take a day off work and get copies of divorce agreement.  He said he contacted a lawyer who told him legally he doesn't have to go until they send a suphena (sp?). 

I think here it's until 18 or they finish  high school but in the case of a child who dropped out and is 'halfway' being homeschooled I think it would be up to a judge.  She won't be 19 until next Oct.

I told him to file a counter suit for all the back child support he never recieved and he thought he could not collect because the kids were grown.  I told him that obligation never goes away and he could get ED's tax refund forever if he gets a judgement for it. He is thinking over his options.  He says he's so pissed after everything he did on his own that he can't even think straight.  LOL

[absmom18]

*I* think, that since he has legal custody of the child and there is a court order in place (albeit for no money to exchange hands) the state can't create another order.  There is already a court with jurisdiction.  Or at least that is how it would work in our county.  He should call the state and let them know there is already an order in place.  I don't think they can touch it.  Does their divoce state anything about medical insurance and who is ordered to carry?

[Leah]

Not sure and he doesn't remember since it's been 17 years and she never followed the order or gave him any $$.  He kind of gave up on her a loooooonnng time ago.  Heck he was dating me, 15 years ago...LOL 

[absmom18]

17 years ago states didn't give crap about insurance, so chances are there is nothing.  but I still doubt the state can go and create another court order regarding a child that a court already has jurisdiction over.

[Leah]

I haven't heard back from him since he said he had to go find his papers, I told him I'd file his taxes for free the second the office opens but he should have a copy of the custody agreement sent along with them in case Egg Donor wants to try and claim the child

[Nmommy]

I can tell you in my joint custody decree it states, "He is responsible for insurance IF his company provides it" Which for the past 5 years none of his jobs here and there provided for family health.

IF his decree stated she was to provide Child support, he has that coming to him. I would still consult a lawyer, but as I discovered the judge still has final say.
Good luck to him!!!!!
Mary

[Leah]

In TN the Non-custodial parent has to pay child support even if they don't have a job.  The  theory is then Get a Job...I think she was ordered to pay some piddling amount and just never did and he got tired of fighting about it and figured whatever.  Even if it were 200 a month for the 3 kids that's a lot of months...

Normally I would tell a freind if your kids  are grown and happy count your blessings and move on.  I remember this peice of work showing up at Tom's house 1 morning, I was in the kitchen feeding the baby and we were getting ready to take the kids to the zoo.  She was whacked out of her head pounding on the door screaming at Tom and demanding money.  He had me stay in with the kids , lock the door and call 911, while he got out in the yard and let her scream and yell and hit him just to keep her away from the kids.  The older two were watching her from the window and screaming when she started attacking Tom.  Needless to say no one felt like going to the zoo that day after it was all said and done. She was threatening me before the police got there. I was real tempted to go outside and open a can of whoopass on her.  Tom bless his heart just kept turning his back to her and pushing her to the side.  Of course he had plenty of witnesses too because the whole neighborhood turned out to watch the drama.  He put up with 22 years of her so far and she's still not done.  No wonder he drinks.  A LOT!

[absmom18]

Damn, so she does owe him a pretty penny.  Nice.  I think he will be fine as far as the legalities.  Andy Mary is right, the state really can't force him to get insurance it if isn't affordable through an employer.

[Leah]

I told him since they no longer have insurance at his employer to let the state insure the kid and take the money from his check that way the kid has insurance for the next 10 months and he will look good in front of a judge if he decides to get Egg Donor for back support. 

[Ray_TX]

I think Tom's Ex is going to get a nasty surprise when she's ordered to not only cover the daughter's support costs herself out of what she already owes the dad but also to start making catch-up payments on back support for all three kids.  At this point, Tom is "paid up" on anything he might be ordered to pay his ex because of how much she already owes him. 

He could probably get an order that she either makes sure the youngest goes to school or else lets him take back over fully in laying down the law.  She's not really even keeping her part of the verbal agreement to actually "parent" the youngest herself.

[Leah]

I haven't talked to him yet but I plan on going by to take a tray of cookies to the family so I'm sure I'll get caught up then.